Corporate Zoo – Characters We Meet In Our Corporate Journey

Admit it or not we always have a few typical characters that we encounter in our corporate journey! Sometimes they are so sublime in their characteristics we might not notice them right away but you can surely find at least a few of them from my compilation below :D Well I am no expert as I have just completed a year in the corporate jungle , but the animals that dwell in it come to me instantly being a keen observer  (and well having an annoying habit of comparing people around me to animals according to their behavior )

Statutory Warning! *

Without further ado, here goes the list -

1. The Bootlicker

Well well someone who laughs at all the managers jokes however lame they maybe or suicidal you may feel after hearing his mimicry of a film character that Mr.Manager thinks is H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S .. You have that one person who will laugh as hard or maybe harder than Sidhu does on comedy nights with Kapil, would wish him on his birthday with a mail sent out to the entire office (a proof to the masses that he's gonna get a one up for next appraisal ) , who wouldn't say no to any un-possible deadline ( oh come on I’ll sit up whole night to impress and shine in his eyes ) >.< Also there are variations in this category, you have the people who'll move up the line by getting very friendly with all the seniors, the smooth talking junior who jokes around with the top bosses, will diligently like all their social network updates, be smoke buddies with them, in short have it all by cleverly swooping down into their minds by any means.. These people are more of the smarter and not very obvious kind of butter-thy-senior category, harder to detect but they lurk around the corporate corridors nevertheless  :D

2. Da Manager - The Good, the Bad, the UGLY

This one was an obvious character I know! Different kinds of the rulers (as some seem to think of themselves)

 There are the smooth talking nice kind (they will make you do their work anyhow of course, come on that's what managers are for! ) but they will do it in such a way that you would pride yourself and do it out of sheer respect maybe a little bit of fear but you will do it in a positive frame of mind.

After that you have the i-m-not-available-to-you-ever-when-you-need-me type of a manager who mysteriously disappears for any length of time when you need them but conveniently, magically you might say appear when it is time for you to Log off your computer :D Say bye bye to the thought of having dinner in your house, you'll be spending the night to completing whatever drillmaster-cum-Mr.India orders you too! There are slight variations here too, some managers make you sign up a sweeter deal for the cost of you having dinner at your own home, - ''work incomplete, ah no problem do it from your home :)'' deal with the devil Ha!

After that there is the workaholic manager - no innovation, no life, loyalist to abc company till I die - wow that rhymes! But not for people who work under them , these managers are usually the least charismatic, introverts who are not noticeable unless when they anoint tasks to you.. Clearly very difficult to get along coz they speak so less and are extremely moody, make up for very boring teams yawn can’t even write more about them ZZzz :D

Then comes the toughest kind Mr.Surly , no one is good enough in front of his/her eyes, i am the only one who can even walk properly in this office talk about work Hmph! They have clear favorites and even clearer un-favorites whom they love to hate and make their life more miserable than it might already have been :P it can get so funny with their hate list that I can quote an incident a friend of mine loves to tell , - the manager comes with a packet of chips near his employee whom he hates, and shares it with every other person in vicinity apart from this employee.. That's childish you might say.. So this employee decides to give him a taste of his own medicine, after an hour he gets a packet of chips too... Well 10 packets for each person in the periphery... Apart from you might have guessed the i-do-not-share-my-chips manager.. :D talk about generosity ( for people who might get inspired please note this friend mentioned he was in notice period :P well he would have to go there even if he hadn’t i suppose eventually ) That's that, then we come across the mean machines er.. Managers ..who don’t have calms about losing their tempers in front of the office, clearly they are in urgent need of Kung fu panda's inner peace secrets. Another notable kind with which I will conclude with the managers are the ones who party with a burger with their teams on office team bills and then go to Hyaatt to party with the remaining ka-ching  $_$

 3. The Junkies

Being part of any IT/Media company with their irate working hours and even more irate people working in them, we have the people who get addicted to a lot of different substances.. Hey wait there am talking about tea/coffee/cigarettes alright :D

There are people who drink tea/ coffee once when they come at 9, then another at 11, then another post lunch, then another at 4 then another.. Well it’s not helping me count! Clearly the work has made them slaves to tea and coffee beans! And if you thought that's unhealthy there are people who have smoking circles similar to these.. ! The neighborhood paan shops stocking cigarettes and mints flourish and make money more than domino's or mcdonalds with 2-3 companies around :D There are various addictions that I have came across, pinging on office chat messengers like crazy, playing whatever games that the office premises offers! Football, table tennis, box cricket et al! Then my favorite foodies who just can’t get enough f their addiction of the office canteen and when that phase passes all hail the freeeee delivery outlets *bows*

4. The (mostly) friendly neighborhood peon who delivers tea/coffee

 

Friendly Peon

Imagine you are sitting in your cramped up cubicle, ac swinging in the fans to send down the chills even if its 35 degree outside, you had an amaàaaaaazing sumptuous meal with your buddies and all you want is a blanket and pillow doze off to eternity .. But wait there's danger always lurking! There are predators waiting! Managers, snoopy co- workers, cameras for surveillance, heaps of work you gotta complete.. When life appears so dim and hopes are fast receding.. There comes your friendly neighbourhood peon to the rescue armed with this cup of tea/coffee from the ho-hum coffee machine (which btw somehow makes the tea and coffee taste the same?!) . He's an angel in your moment of despair, when you seek to liberate yourself from the sleep you so crave to at least pretend and feel a lil awake and continue yet another day in the corporate world :)

watchman

5. The Watchman 

He's the baton wielding, impeccably dressed always, your office watchman ! You might be working there since weeks, months or years! He will never ever trust your face, your ID card is your only identity for him in his database :D Be sure he's a nice chap wishing you Good Maarning :) and collecting your flipkart and ebay parcels for you before notifying you :D

6. Peers

Different kinds but all the same, people at your level in the corporate hierarchy, people who can be your friends, rivals, team mates, acquaintances! All said they will be the comfort zone for your journey, the wonderful moments when you can crib about work, bosses, life, the office washroom, food what not! It binds you to this group! The difficult times when you need help with your projects and codes, there's someone you can count on!

Team outings won’t be fun without them, neither will lunch times when you are so looking forward to their ping in the office messenger for, ' come on I’m hungry lets go have lunch ' to 'let’s order outside' ;) your corporate journey is incomplete and without meaning if you don't have those special few people you meet and befriend and who make each Monday a little better to bear :) Cheers to them !

I think I have summed up the major category of people I encountered on my journey till now!

Also I have taken reference from many of my friends’ experiences to generalize! What about your journey with the corporate beings? Feel free to share any new species or some obvious ones that I might have missed :D

There is another part with some other fascinating people category that would come in the next part of the Corporate Zoo blog! Stay tuned J

*The posts made here are purely out of my imagination and the stories have extensively modified,edited to create humor and entertainment. All characters and events depicted in this post are real, and any resemblance to persons living, dead, or fictional or situations past, present, or fictional is purely and completely deliberate .. :D